Everyone knows police work is stressful and cops see terrible things in the line of duty. The same is true for firefighters, emergency medical providers, and military personnel. There are other jobs that are less identifiable that also have very high trauma exposure, including social workers, particularly for children and families, nurses, doctors and other medical providers, and many types of non-profit organizations that, at the end of the day, are probably caring for the same people as all of the other jobs on this list. The reality is many “caring” professions involve trauma exposure and almost every person is exposed to trauma numerous times in their life.
There is a rising trend in public safety services, and more broadly in society, to support people who experience trauma and make services available to help deal with it. Many companies have Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), insurance that covers counseling, and sick time and vacation time that can help give employees a rest. But before an employee can use these services, or any others, they must know that their mental health matters for both them and the organization. If the culture of a company doesn’t take wellness, balance or mental health seriously, most people will not seek help. This can result in problems up and down the line.
When I first started in public safety in the early 1990’s everything was about being tough. You did your job and no matter how bad the call was, you put your rig back together and got ready for the next call. There were very few exceptions to this rule. At 18, 19 and 20 years old, I took my cues from the older adults on the department and locked myself down. Even when we did have a critical incident stress debriefing (CISD) after a pediatric homicide call, I still didn’t cave. I can’t say whether I felt I had too much to prove, or didn’t want to look weak, or maybe I just really wasn’t ready to deal with that call yet. I can say that the model that was set for me there, and at the other services I had served on, was to be tough and get ready for the next call. So that’s what I did.
Fast forward over a decade, in addition to those early examples, I was now a sworn police officer and providing for a family. This added an additional layer of reinforcement to the stay tough mentality. Look, there are lots of stressful jobs, but if an accountant has a mental health breakdown and takes a week off for treatment, no one thinks he or she can’t be an accountant anymore. But cops, they have to perform under some of the most stressful situations humans encounter, and they have to make decisions clearly, and other people’s lives rely on them. Taking a week off for mental health reasons back in the day could result in getting put on the “rubber gun squad”.
You can guess the origin of that phrase. You can also guess it’s not complementary.
Early in my policing career I found myself in a very difficult personal situation, including a divorce. Having only been on the department for a few months when things started to happen I was scared to talk about the situation or how I was doing, for fear the department would decide I might be at risk for mental health issues and let me go. On the other hand, there were times when the situation was overwhelming and keeping my head in the game was nearly impossible. I had to have at least someone I could turn to.
I finally talked with one of my field training officers (FTO). During my time training with him he had talked about the importance of mental health and the importance of staying dialed in to whatever situation we were dealing with. I knew he would have to report things up the chain of command if he thought they posed a risk, but I also trusted that he genuinely cared about me and my health. He was empathetic, listened and supported me. The most important thing for me was to have someone that would be able to understand if I really needed help.
And I really did need help. One day I was on shift, in uniform and yet I was not present at all. I finally made the realization that I was more likely to be a danger to myself or others than I was likely to help. I went into his office and told him exactly that. My mental health was not good and I shouldn’t be there that day. He told me to punch out on a sick day and leave. He’d cover the shift for me. I was out the door in less than 10 minutes.
Having a person create a space, even if it was just between the two of us, where I felt heard and supported and could do what I needed to for my own mental health was crucial during that time in my life. The public was better served by not having me in the field in that headspace and I was able to sort out what I needed enough to come back the next day and do better.
I did end up seeking counseling on a limited basis. I was still afraid of getting put on the rubber gun squad and I didn’t want other officers wondering if I was going to have their back on a scene. I should have done more counseling and less worrying about judgement, but that’s kind of the thing about cultures and stigmas. I served many more years with that department and others. Admitting I needed help prolonged my career. If I hadn't sought help, my career may have been much shorter. I’ll talk more about that and other mental health issues in the future.
The trend towards mental health, self-care and supporting others is rising. However, the starting point is so painfully low that we have a lot of ground to make up before we as a society can say we are taking good care of each other. Being a resonant leader means you create space for trust to develop and your co-workers will know they can have their needs met and be seen, even, and particularly, on their worst days. Please work to be that kind of leader, regardless of your rank or position. If you are struggling with mental health, find someone to talk to and get help. We need to lower the stigma of getting help with mental health. The cost when we don't is far too high.
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